Size 4 Jeans

1. Getting married. Don’t get me wrong. Getting married is fine, but once is enough. To get married again I’d have to do the “big D” and if I do that, I sure won’t get married again anyway, so there you have it!
2. Having kids. Again, don’t get me wrong here, but two is enough! If I manage to survive the two I have with my sanity intact, I’ll be doing well.
3. Joining a group of women to do anything. Think quilt or craft guilds, reading groups, PTAs, whatever. Women in groups of more than two are a PITA.
4. Buying a couch that doesn’t have the back cushions attached. I HATE the couch and loveseat in my living room. The back cushions are just pillows, and it never looks neat after someone sits on them. No one in the house but me can figure out how to arrange them properly either, so I either have to blow it off and deal with it looking like crap or fix it myself constantly. Grrrr.
5. Working outside the home in a “real job.” So yeah, I’m spoiled. With any luck I’ll continue to be spoiled so that I don’t have to put up with all the politics and social jockeying that goes along with working in an office or something like that. With a little more luck, I won’t have to be “spoiled” too much longer because the work I do at home will start buying more than Starbucks daily…
6. Buying vampire books by Anne Rice. I liked them until the fourth or fifth one, and then she just got toooo weird. I’m not even sure I can stomach reading the first ones anymore. Isn’t it funny how our taste changes as we get older?

7. Moving to a country that doesn’t speak English. Okay, I’m stuck in Germany right now, but I hope to never have to do it again. It’s not that I’m not good at languages; I guess I could be if I wanted to spend the time to learn properly, but I just don’t want to spend my time that way. Not speaking the local language does have it’s drawbacks though, especially when there is a problem with the phone or the power or something else fairly critical like that.
8. Purchasing a pure bred cat. One of the more expensive mistakes I’ve made recently was to purchase a kitten from a breeder. This cat is far and away the worst one we’ve ever had. Mannerless, dumb, ill-behaved, and just an all around PITA. It may have something to do with having the same mommy kitties on both sides of the family tree (as in, too much inbreeding) and/or a poor breeder, but why take a chance on getting another one just as bad? I’ll stick with the strays that show up at your door or in the paper when you’re not expecting them, thanks.
9. Reading books about Pern that are not by Anne McCaffrey. I’m a Pern snob, and I’m sorry, but having anyone else write Pern stories, even her son Todd McCaffrey, just doesn’t make it. The “voice” is all wrong. It’s really okay to let the world of Pern live on in it’s present form, as complete as it will ever be since Anne is getting on in years, without trying to keep the money coming in by letting someone else write the stories. Make up your own world Todd, and find your own voice.
10. Teaching quilting at a small quilt shop. It’s just not really any fun anymore. Maybe this is because the shop where I live is kind of lame, but even when I’ve been teaching elsewhere locally, it’s still not exactly fun. I realize it’s not all fun and it’s a job, but if you don’t enjoy what you do, why do it?
11. Buying loads of wine to have at home. We just don’t drink it anymore, and we have 100+ bottles in the basement as it is which are probably only good for vinegar at this point. I’m a girl who likes a sure thing, and a bottle of wine is not a sure thing. You open a bottle and maybe it’ll be good, but maybe it won’t, and maybe it’ll go well with the food or maybe not. A Cosmopolitan goes with everything (IMO) and I know it’ll be good 95 times out of 100, because I make it myself and the only way to seriously muck it up is to put a bad lime in it.
12. Spending any time at all in a bathing suit in public. I want a private pool/sauna/jacuzzi in my house/yard, thank you very much. I used to spend a lot of time swimming (when I was much younger) and I would still enjoy it if I could do it privately. I’m just not into the whole “sharing a pool with people you don’t know” thing. Ick.
13. Flying in coach class. Well, we can all dream, can’t we? I hate flying anyway, but coach is just the worst. Oh, to be able to afford business class on a regular basis!

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